Momma Cusses

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Oh. Okay. Mr Irwin is a nice young man. And there is a manta ray worth of reasons Bindi doesn’t talk to her dad anymore.

You can’t be funnier AND faster. Pick one.

Yep. It’s still good.

It’s true. Ask @ToriPhantom

The internal dialogue only gets odder from here.

The perils of shiny pants.

Like how did that sound in his head?

Oh. Okay. That’s specific. Which house are you?

Could also apply to Gen X but idk. I’m a millennial. A bunch of us are like this. Idk why either. 🤷‍♀️

No. I didn’t put chicken juice in my mouth for this. It’s a reenactment because I definitely have before. I switched spoons at the scene cut. Relax. Don’t ⛳️ me.

The summer stomachs are so friggin real. Three kids, two parents. If this makes it to June I’ll be shocked.

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Quick. Who can name the book?

I’ve always had both a high pain tolerance and pain threshold. Straight up didn’t notice the dog had bitten straight through my lip and cheek. The dog wasn’t aggressive. It was just big. I was not. Play went a little sideways. No one was mad at anyone. And the dog lived out the rest of its natural life before anyone panics. Yes. I have dogs. No. I’m not scared of them at all. Yes. I still have a scar. Again, unbothered queen be I.

The life lessons from Corey Booker are going to take a while to unpack.

Index cards. Founding fathers. Malicious compliance.

Like… boundaries babe.

Are crock pots over done? Are our kids going to shun them?

If they made a horror movie about this it would be banned in several countries for being too frightening.